I should actually look at some ones archive before following them. I occasionally do this. And when I do, all I see are pictures, pictures, pictures, reblogs, reblogs, reblogs, and more pictures. It’s like throw me a pillow ‘cause I only get sleepier by the minute every time I go down my dash. I need to follow more writers ‘cause thats about the only thing that gets me through my day usually. Give me words because your picture isn’t worth a thousand.
Time passed by and we all eventually lived in the same area once again, but this time in a place called Kent. It was less ghetto and more civilized then the place we lived at before, so our parents thought it would be a good chance for us to start fresh again. I thought the 2005 school year would give me the chance to make a new character for myself and an attempt at making friends. I attended a school called Panther Lake and it was at this age where kids were rocking Air Force Ones, Southpole, and big t-shirts. I was that one kid who wasn’t into those type of styles, but wore clothes picked out by his mom. The expectations I had for that year didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to be, so once again, I ended up being a loner. Instead of going outside, I would stay in the classroom during recess and do other activities by myself. I guess you could say I was afraid of making myself look like a fool again or express myself like every one else did. When every one came back from recess, I still didn’t talk to any one even if we were all grouped together in 4’s.
I had my second encounter with bullies I didn’t like at all and it was the first time I had heard about the term Blood, which is a gang that rocks red. It was an all asian crew that I had always wish that I could befriend, but they were too cool for me because I couldn’t be seen walking around with a crew if I was wearing a striped t-shirt and sandals. Don’t get me wrong though, I know I was stupid at the time, but I never tried joining a gang. They would walk around together all the time and had these cocky smirks and bad impressions they would give off. I would actually imagine myself if I was ever good enough to be a Blood myself, but never became one.
With 2005-06 coming to an end, I was ready to move on to the 7th grade. I was the same quiet kid as I mentioned previously before, but I tried improving myself this time. I made a few friends and I could actually hold up a conversation pretty well. But when the conversation died, my “friends” would just leave me hanging. Most of the time, I’d hangout up stairs, or with my cousin during lunch in the teachers room where we watched….ANIME! One of our teachers loved watching anime, so now and then we would join him and watch Naruto, One Piece, and so on.
At a young age, I would constantly people watch to try and understand why was it that I didn’t know how to socialize like every other person could. I would watch my family members, so-called friends, and people in public so I could later on mimic what they were doing to see if it worked. Because of how I was raised, I couldn’t interact like all my other classmates. They were into basketball, four square, and tag. The only times I would actually be really active is when there was P.E or recess where you’re forced or invited to come play along. When school was over, video games and TV were the only substituted friends I would turn to besides hanging out with cousins.
In my family, all of us always lived very close together, and at one point we all lived in the same town with no family problems. Everything was just about going with the flow and having family parties. People got drunk and all of us gambled together and even the little kids would join in to play Black Jack. Most of the family parties happened at our house since it was big enough to hold up to about 100-150 people. The good times happened at our place and we all got along very well. That year happened to be the first time where my sister and I would also be engaged in the family mailing business.
We had only just started the family business, so our Dad wanted us to help out with the small and big jobs we were receiving from other companies such as Comcast, Cinema Theater, Pokemon, and other widely known franchises. We didn’t get paid in cash, but in games and toys instead. My sister and I were 8 and 9 respectively, yet we were one of the hardest workers in the warehouse since we got started first before most of our family members. We both worked everyday and I was almost never in the mood to do homework after work because I felt really exhausted. The workplace was strict and kept us both on our feet. There was one point where we wanted to take a break, but our Dad yelled and told us to work until the job was finished. This probably happened on a daily basis up to the point that we knew arguing with him was pointless. The stress that my Dad built up was terrible and it brought out the first family conflict that we all had to endure together.
There were arguments about who paid for the business to start in the first place and who would take over the business if my Dad were to retire one day. One thing lead to another and before you know it, every one starts keeping their distance away from our family. Our closest families blamed us for the splitting and gossip started occurring and spreading out to other families that we also knew. Personally, it only made my life more depressing, but I eventually learned to cope with it.
This will be the first time I’ll be telling most of who I actually am from beginning to end, so I’ll just start off from when I was a child. Not all my memories will be fully accurate, but I want to try to recreate them as best as I can. Growing up in an apartment was where my sister and I were first raised. Her and I were about 5 and 6 years old respectively at the time and we were spoiled with all the goodies that every kid wanted. We had games, disney movies, and toys to occupy our time when our parents didn’t bond with us. Money was the only thing that helped our lives and it was the only thing that my sister and I depended on. I learned morals through Disney movies and that affected my life personally as I will explain later on. We moved from place to place, but we finally found a home to rent that our Uncle and Aunty let us have.
As I thought that most of our best memories would be at this house, I was proved wrong when I realized how bad the beatings our Mom would give us for discipline. We were beat with hangers, vacuum cords, and anything around her that she could grab. You would think that just because I was getting beaten, it would motivate me to do and finish school work. It was the exact opposite and I did terrible in school. I was in depression and I didn’t know who to turn to. Going to school only made me more miserable because every one made fun of me. Remember how I was talking about Disney morals? Well, I actually applied what I learned in Disney movies to real life. I was disappointed with myself and didn’t know how to make real friends. I was constantly confused and only kept to myself in elementary school. At one point, some one called me “Gay”, but I didn’t know what that was at the time. I soon realized I was only called that because I had a high pitched girly voice. I never liked boys at the time, but always thought I had a great attraction to girls.
After school was over, I felt a relief take over me, but disappointed at the same time because there was always this red haired kid that bullied me on my walk home. At times, I would imagine myself picking up a rock and throwing it so hard at his face he would bleed for days, but I didn’t have the courage. I was constantly bullied, but one day he took it too far. He poured orange soda over my head and I wanted to cry so bad, but the beating I got every day prevented me from doing that. I only had one friend at the time that I wanted to talk to about it, but he was always busy, so Pokemon actually filled my void of depression. I would play this game in secret because if my Mom saw me playing it, she would give me a beating and take it away.
The only thing I ever learned from the beatings was that crying was a sign of weakness and that life can’t get any worst. The day that my sister and I were playing Pokemon, there was one more moral that we learned from our Mom. That day when we were constantly playing Pokemon, she took out two steak knives and stabbed the centers of our gameboys and left us sitting there telling us that we were wasting our time on silly games. We learned the value of a dollar that day and never to give in to other peoples needs, which my Mom couldn’t do the next day by feeling bad and buying us new gameboys.
No such thing. There is no such thing as a nice guy and a nice girl as well as a mean guy and a mean girl. Every one has different perceptions of what being nice and mean is. Everything has a requirement and a majority of the bull of what I hear of what is nice and mean is always biased. It will stay this way and people will continue to add on to the list. What I do believe is that some one can be good or evil. These words sort of distinguish itself from nice and mean. Good and evil are actions while nice and mean are just basically gestures & language shown towards one another.
So, I deleted my tumblr last night, but before I did, I backed up all my log entries onto my laptop. I did this because my friends found my tumblr due to someone *cough* @jaygoesrawr *cough* who reblogged my post . To be honest, tumblr is a place where I distance myself from everyone, but I only tell a few that I have one. The thing is, there are some things I post that a majority of my friends shouldn’t see and in the end it effects my writing in a way. Since I backed up all my entries on my laptop, I think I’ll start posting them up in a random order incase people might want to read them. This account will be way more anonymous then before, so I hope none of my friends with the exception of a few don’t find my tumblr. And I was just kidding Jordan. It’s not really that serious, but I was shocked haha.
Then the post get’s up to a thousand notes….I don’t know, it’s just the most hilarious thing to laugh at. Like, whats there to really hate about it? It’s just so damn funny. I actually laughed really hard when I saw a post like the title I made. I just..don’t understand why you would reblog it when…it’s just a 3-4 word letter statement. I’m wiping away tears from my eyes due to laughing so hard haha.
Funny how it’s the same title as my 2nd to last post with the exception of the name. Today was pretty chill. I had nothing to do all day until Jordan hit me up telling me that he was heading to South Center and asked if I wanted to hang out. There were two reasons why I wanted to hang out with him. 1 being that I’ve never hanged out with him before. And 2 being that how I perceive him online won’t be the same as how I see him offline. Jordan, you’re so quiet, yet you move around a lot haha. When we were in Borders, I took that chance to grab both his shoulders and loosen him up. In the time that I was shaking him, I also shouted his name out loud to make him feel embarrassed. One thing you should know about me is that I love loosening people up. It’s what I’m good at and I do it to all my new and old friends all the time. It’s just a way to break the ice and make the environment around us feel a little more laid back.
When we met up, I also got my Christmas gift from him, but he told me not to open it until he went home, so we just walked around the mall. Honestly, it was a really nice walk since we just went with the flow and went to random stores. The last place we went to was Sea Food City. God, that place is so over whelming because it’s a filipino based grocery store and tons of people go there every day. When we walked in, we decided to just randomly walk through aisles and check out things to make it seem like we were interested in buying stuff…haha. There was one point where I mentioned Dance Central and I was doing an old school move I learned from the game. I stopped when some one spotted me and started laughing. Afterwards, we went our separate ways and said our goodbyes. It was a good day and I hope to loosen Jordan up next time I see him haha. If you’re reading this Jordan, I will do something…far more embarrassing then just shout your name out loud!
Is so so so so….small. It’s like the University of Washington where majority are asian haha. Every one I follow has connections with either friends or cousins that I know too. Funny thing is, most of them I just randomly follow to see how my dash would turn out.
This is what I did for Christmas. Play Dance Central most of the night. I feel freaking boss for beating my cousins and sister haha. I really didn’t think that game would be that addicting, but it was. Instead of spending Christmas with my family, I spent it with another family that I call my 3rd or 4th. I’m really close with a lot of families incase people didn’t know. Before going to their house, we actually planned on going out to eat and watch a movie, but my friends dad didn’t wan’t her going out on a holiday where there are a lot of drunk drivers. When we thought all was lost, my friend pulled out Dance Central and I was the first out of two players to step up. And let me tell you, I was sweating like hell. My friends were laughing because I actually put my emotions into each move. It was hilarious and I enjoyed battling every one. Her Dad made us sleep over last night, so we played this pretty much until morning haha.