day 120: what is your zodiac sign and what do you think it means
I’m a horse and it just mean’s I’ve got a lot of power….for exerting powerful force into my sexual pleasures..lol. I’m just kidding, but really. All it means is that I just keep moving forward with my life.
day 118: what people in your life inspire you the most
Jan- First person I ever told to about myself…ever! He’s a really good bestfriend and it’s possible I might see his ass this summer..maybe. I never knew best friends could be so over protective..or jealous. You can accept either one of those Jan haha. But that’s why I love him.
Jordan- He’s a really chill guy and he seriously has his moments. I’ve known this guy on and off since high school. It wasn’t until a last year or so that I actually started talking to him.
Mailan- I’ve known this chick for 5 to 6 years so far. No one comes close to an open conversation such as ours yet. If you ever listen to one of our conversations, you’d feel so damn disturbed. It’s impossible to engage in any of our convos haha.
There’s actually two guys who mean a lot to me. But I’ll just talk about one and have people wondering about the other. Jan mean’s a whole bunch to me. He’s not as dramatic as most people I talk to and he’s always in the present…not the past. I’m not used to people who always talk about the past. Once in a while is good, but I mostly look for those who are for the future. I love you bestfriend!
I dont know, but I’m happy right now. I’ve never been in a real relationship, so I don’t know how I would say that if I was in the position of a person who just had one. Honestly, I do get a tad bit depressed when I see couples passing by, but at the same time, I don’t know how that actually feels.
I have this battle with myself every single day. When I feel like I haven’t achieved any of my goals, I tell myself all the time that I’m not good enough for this or that. And then there’s always that one voice that comes along and tell’s that person, “What’re you going to do about it then?” And when that voice comes along, I immediately get back on the path I’m working on and achieve what I wanted.
day 114: do you like when people are protective over you
It didn’t surprise me when the thought of my best friend popped up into my head haha. I don’t know, but I’m not really used to that. Best friend, if you’re reading this, then I hope you know I’m over protective over you sometimes too.
About two years ago, I had this insanely disturbing dream. Actually, it was terrifying and I still tremble a little every time I bring it up. In my dream, I was being chased down a dark alleyway. I came to a dead end and the guy grabbed me by the shirt and started stabbing at my chest. I could actually feel the knife tearing at my skin and I was screaming for my life. Little did I realize that I was also screaming outside my dream, so my screams also woke both my parents up. When they knocked on the door and asked what was wrong, I instantly woke up. I was sweating terribly and my eyes were red. My heart was beating at a really fast pace. Ever since then, my dreaming has transitioned from knives to guns..I always get shot right near the heart. I definitely do not know what that means, but it scares me every time I dream about it.
day 112: what is the most important part in a relationship, do you think
To understand why you moved yourself to that status in the first place. If your reason for being with that person isn’t strong enough to make you cry, it won’t last. I believe that those who have a strong enough “why” for the other will last for a long time.
There’s a certain level of maturity you reach when you start doing things differently then what your friends expect you to do. Everything is fun and games when everyone is on the same page, but when you’re reading ahead of them, they’ll just leave you behind. They’ll wonder why you did things so differently when you should be doing the exact same thing as they’re doing. It’s like a feeling of security for them because at least they have somebody to bring down when all is lost. Some people can call me insane for continuing what I’m really passionate about, but do you know the real meaning of insanity? It’s doing the exact same thing over and over again expecting something to change. But for change to happen, you have to change. So, are you expecting the next five years to change with the same daily routine going on for you or are you willing to change yourself to make it the best five years of your life?
day 106: someone you judged by the first impression
My friend CJ. He was a popular kid in high school and I always thought he was one of those guys who hanged out with popular cliques. Then one day, he actually changed my view of him when he came up before me and introduced himself. I was sitting alone every day at lunch outside until he walked into my life and changed everything. Imagine if he didn’t walk into my life?
aha seriously. if they actually really looked at it in a diff perspective. Everyone, I mean everyone, is different. So that whole waiting or making the first move type of shit isn't always going to be what they expect. Some people want the others to take initiative and matters into their own hands instead of laying there like a fucking rock lmao. All I say is, feelings are feelings and you cant change that. Waiting too long, they might start to fade. So go after whatever it is
This. I don’t italicize a lot, so this definitely means that everyone should follow this guy. If you don’t, you’re laying there like a damn rock. But yeah, no ones going to go after it for you if you don’t. Not everything you ignore is going to magically appear right before your eyes. A majority of you out there needs to just do it.
Don’t play this game with me because I’m definitely not a player. So you think that ignoring or not talking to me is going to help make me take the first initiative? I’m sorry, but it surely doesn’t work that way for me. If I have time to talk, then I will definitely take time out of my schedule to catch up on things that the other hasn’t been updated about. If you really think the fear of rejection can over come my well being, then you really have gotten it all wrong. I’ve learned to love rejection over the past 6 years of my life. I’ve been through so much in my life that receiving neglect and rejection only mean’s more acceptance in the near future.